Rated Greg’s Top 5 Superhero Villains

1. The Joker (Heath Ledger) – The Dark Knight
2. The Joker (Jack Nicholson) – Batman
3. Killmonger (Michael B. Jordan) – Black Panther
4. Bane (Tom Hardy) – The Dark Knight Rises
5. Catwoman (Michelle Pfeiffer) – Batman Returns

The Marvel Cinematic Universe has been around for ten years and eighteen movies.  This Disney-owned filmography is the steadiest bet in the business in terms of box office success and fresh tomato scores.  It’s resurrected defunct A-listers, established new ones, and provided some of the best jokes of the 2010’s.  But if there’s one thing it’s consistently lacked throughout its run, something the other superhero franchises have been much better at, it’s producing a great villain….until now!  Plain and simple, Michael B. Jordan’s “Killmonger” is THAT DUDE in Black Panther.  No disrespect to the hero T’Challa, but I was definitely rooting for MBJ in this movie and something tells me I’m not alone.  His slowly revealed ideology really does make a compelling argument against the protagonist’s altruistic vision.  You could genuinely feel the packed theater begin to rally behind him, although that might at least be partially due to the fact that there was a collective GASP in the crowd the moment Jordan takes his shirt off (I didn’t see Magic Mike in the theater, but I imagine it was a similar sensation).

So Black Panther has a great villain.  It’s other best asset is just a great story.  It’s certainly more moving than the plots of the other Marvel movies, most of which revolve around capturing those dumbass magical stones, and you don’t even need to be familiar with the the rest of the series to understand what’s going on.  The 134 minutes of Black Panther is probably one the best allegories to a tumultuous cultural climate you’ll see in a film this year, superhero movie or not.  A subset of non-superhero fans flocked to the theaters last summer for Wonder Woman because it represented a moment.  Making $200 million dollars over 3 days, the same thing is happening with Black Panther.

While the screenplay of Black Panther sets itself apart, unfortunately much of the CGI-fueled action scenes look like more of the same.  That’s the only knock I have against the movie.  Beautiful, talented actors in one frame changing into cartoonish, digital versions of themselves in the next frame in order to punch a green screen adversary.  It’s just what superhero movies are at this point.  Shit like that has a tendency to dull the weight of everything else going on.  I just wish more directors would go the Christopher Nolan route and rely on stunt doubles during fight sequences rather than post-production CGI. But what are you gonna do?  Finding nitpicks in Black Panther is not a worthy cause, especially by me, white person.

As far as I can tell, this is the first ever mega budget blockbuster with an almost* all black cast.  Who the hell am I to say what’s wrong with it?  I just can’t relate to not be seeing faces like mine literally all the damn time in big movies (watching white people do stuff with each other on the big screen is so common that you would never even register their race as an aspect of the movie when describing it to someone).  So I gather that there’s a higher level of appreciation for Black Panther that’s reserved only for the under-represented communities.  I dug it too though.  Grade: B+

*I got $10 saying Martin Freeman’s entire arc was conceived by a studio note and not by writer/director Ryan Coogler.

Rated Greg’s Top 5 Most Macho Movies

1. Predator
2. Rocky IV
3. Scarface
4. Gladiator
5. Big Trouble in Little China

Den of Thieves, starring Gerard Butler & 50 Cent, is a good movie.  Wait.  WAIT!  WHERE ARE YOU GOING?!  DON’T LEAVE!  HEAR ME OUT!

Ok you still here?  Good.  So yes, Hollywood’s newest bank robbing caper, Den of Thieves, stars Gerard Butler and 50 Cent.  And yes, it only got a 41% from critics on Rotten Tomatoes.  But you know what?  Just like Carmelo Anthony proclaiming that he’s “done with the refs,” Rated Greg is officially done with Rotten Tomatoes.  You know how I know that the Tomatometer is full of shit?  75% of the public audience reported liking Den of Thieves after seeing it, which is more than the 71% that reported liking Phantom Thread, a movie that got a 91% on the Tomatometer compared to Den’s 41.  Now, Phantom Thread is a fine cinematic accomplishment and unlike The Shape of Water, I’m not going to fuss about its Best Picture nomination.  But watching Phantom Thread is not NEARLY as fun a time as watching Den of Thieves is.  It’s just not.

What critics got wrong about Den of Thieves is that they took the film as seriously as the film takes itself.  This movie oh so obviously aspires to be Heat 2.0… but just because it’s visibly inferior to the best heist movie of all time, most notably in the area of plot cohesiveness, doesn’t mean that it’s not worthwhile entertainment.  Comparing Den of Thieves to Heat is the wrong litmus test.  Rather, it should be thought of as an R-Rated, less self-aware Fast and Furious.  In addition to Heat and F&F, this movie also borrows from The Town, Sicario, and Bad Boys II.  Now, there’s a fine line between paying homage to something and completely ripping it off.  Because of how similar certain scenes are, Den is probably guilty of the latter, but very enjoyable nonetheless.

The main thing I took away from Den of Thieves is that it’s just OOZING with unbridled machismo.  For real, the level of swinging dicks in each frame is a throwback to this gif.

Needless to say, this film does not pass The Bechdel Test.  At the center of those swinging dicks is Gerard Butler in a ravenous performance that can only be further described as the love child of Heat Pacino, the bear from The Revenant, and a 24 oz. can of Tecate. He’s on one from start to finish and I loved every second of it (and this is coming from someone that hasn’t cared at all for his previous filmography).

In addition to Butler we have the aforementioned 50 cent, who is second billed on the poster for marketing purposes but turns out to be no more than an ancillary character. Really, Den of Thieves is about Butler vs. Pablo Schreiber and O’Shea Jackson Jr, both also fantastic in their own rights (you might remember Pablo as Nicky Sobotka from The Wire Season 2, he’s also Liev Schreiber’s younger brother).  Anyways, there you have it. Den of Thieves is a good movie.  Thanks for sticking around.  Grade: A-

Rated Greg’s Aaron Sorkin Rankings

1. The Social Network
2. Molly’s Game
3. Steve Jobs
4. A Few Good Men
5. Moneyball

Molly’s Game is an undeniably delightful smorgasbord of a movie.  The rise and fall of ____, CHECK.  Courtroom drama, CHECK.  High stakes, CHECK.  Organized crime, CHECK. Family strife, CHECK.  Sports, CHECK.  Cleavage, CHECK.  Holding all of these moving parts together is peak level dialogue from none other than Aaron Sorkin.  He took some hits years ago for the misguidedly “elitist” Newsroom on HBO, but all is forgiven if he keeps throwing down en fuego screenplays like this.

Similar to Quentin Tarantino, Sorkin’s dialogue is one of a kind in that you can always immediately tell if you’re watching an Aaron Sorkin script on the big screen or TV.  There are many imitators, but no one can write conversations enriched with fast paced zingers between two smart people quite like he can.  Tossing Idris Elba and Jessica Chastain in a room with these ingredients is just as thrilling as any action scene.

I saw Molly’s Game on New Years Day and I’m a little mad at myself for putting out the all-important 2017 Rated Greg awards the day before.  Had I waited until I saw all of the holiday season Oscar contenders, this definitely would have factored into several slots. Specifically, you can go ahead insert Chastain into the Best Lead performance conversation.  Firing on all cylinders, she’s never been better.  Molly’s Game also wins the award for best dialogue and best opening scene (yes, even over Baby Driver).  As for Idris Elba, his supporting performance is nothing short of magnificent.  For real, why is he not a bigger deal by now?  It’s been THIRTEEN years since Stringer Bell bit the dust, can we scrap all of these dumbass Liam Neeson movies and give Elba some leading man roles in top notch scripts?  Fame is best measured by our parents and there’s no way in hell I should have to tell my Mom the name of the handsome actor who played Molly’s lawyer, and yet I did.  Grade: A-

 

The Most Wicked Storm is a one of a kind short film from Maryland native and Rated Greg board member John Beckham.  Premiering at the 2017 DC Shorts Film Festival back in September, Beckham’s eccentric vision officially came to life, perfectly encompassing the log line “from acorn to adult, a family of trees fight the elements to encounter nature’s most vicious attack.”  Seriously, take 3 minutes and check out this twisted, haunting tale of fate and circumstance.  It’ll be one of the more original works of art you’ll see all year (embedded below).  Well done JB!

While 2016 was the year of the sad movie, I’m not so sure there’s one theme for a 2017 slate that was all over the place.  Hollywood executives will tell you the theme is financial disaster, but box office underperformance by no means equates to a lesser quality product (and it’s their own damn fault anyways for betting big on shitty ideas like Medieval Transformers, Pirates 5, and Baywatch: The Movie.  How dumb do they think we are?).  Contrary to their bottom line, I think in between the many blockbuster duds was a really great and interesting year in film, better than most in fact.

There was certainly something for everyone in 2017.  A resurgence of turn-your-brain-off, 90’s style action movies (Atomic Blonde, Baby Driver).  A horror renaissance (Get Out, It, Split, Life).  Coming of age tenderness (Lady Bird, Call Me By Your Name, Florida Project).  Scorsese-inspired American biopics (I, Tonya, American Made).  Margin spotlighting crime thrillers (Wind River, Good Time, Three Billboards).  All that was missing was a knock down, drag out comedy, but I guess Ingrid Goes West will have to do (and LEGO BATMAN).

It also wasn’t ALL bad for the blockbusters.  Christopher Nolan’s Dunkirk is the favorite to win Best Picture.  Disney’s Marvel movies are the best they’ve ever been (Guardians 2, Thor Ragnarok, Spiderman Homecoming).  Other big properties decided to get weird and take chances like Logan, an Eastwood-esque hard R Western disguised as a superhero movie, and the super dark War for the Planet of the Apes, which has much more in common with Apocalypse Now or The Bridge on the River Kwai than it does with other PG-13 CGI-fueled escapes.

The release activity of 2017 makes me think we’re in good shape for 2018.  The largest studios are learning that, Star Wars/Marvel excluded, a title itself won’t automatically yield a profit.  You can no longer start with a movie star, a piece of intellectual property, and a release date and then just work backwards.  Audiences are too smart for that.  The public’s reliance on Rotten Tomatoes means that it can’t just be a cool looking trailer, the finished movie has to actually be good.  Sidenote- There was a lot of debate this year on the presumed influence that RT scores have on the box office returns.  My own personal opinion: Unless it’s Marvel or Star Wars, a “rotten” score will likely spell disaster for a film’s profits (Batman and friends used to be bulletproof as well but that goodwill is rapidly declining).  However, the “fresh” scores have a much lesser correlation and will not lead audiences to the well just because it was critically approved (i.e. Blade Runner).  

Since Disney, Fox, WB, and Universal have been so focused on only hitting big budget home runs recently, a few other competitors have emerged to become major players in producing the best material amongst the smaller to medium scales. Specifically Neon, A24, Blumhouse, Netflix, and Amazon are now also getting meetings with the emerging filmmakers of today, making it that much more competitive within the industry come awards season.  I have to assume more competition can only yield to a better, more eclectic overall slate…….and less outrageously stupid movie investments from the big timers down the road (again this is just an assumption, I’m no economist, I’m just Rated Greg).

Thanks everyone for all the positive AND negative feedback in Year 2 of RG.  This is just a weekend hobby/creative outlet for me but I always enjoy your opinions online and especially in person during random nights out, whether its “We saw Lady Bird too and loved it!” or “Atomic Blonde is an A+?  Really?  What the fuck is wrong with you?”.

 

The Superlative Awards and the full 2017 Movie Report Card are below:

Best Lead Actress

1. Margot Robbie – I, Tonya
2. Charlize Theron – Atomic Blonde
3. Emma Stone – Battle of the Sexes
4. Elizabeth Olsen – Wind River
5. Gal Gadot – Wonder Woman

Best Lead Actor

1. Tom Cruise – American Made
2. Robert Pattinson – Good Time
3. Daniel Kaluuya – Get Out
4. Jake Gyllenhaal – Stronger
5. Hugh Jackman – Logan

Best Supporting Actress

1. Bria Vinate – The Florida Project
2. Holly Hunter – The Big Sick
3. Elizabeth Olsen – Ingrid Goes West
4. Allison Janney – I, Tonya
5. Nicole Kidman – The Killing of a Sacred Deer

Best Supporting Actor

1. Willem Dafoe – The Florida Project
2. Ray Romano – The Big Sick
3. Woody Harrelson – Three Billboards
4. Steve Zahn – War for the Planet of the Apes
5. Paul Dano – Okja

Best Kid

1. Brooklynn Prince – The Florida Project
2. Dafne Keen – Logan
3. Seo-hyun Ahn – Okja
4. Finn Wolfhard – It
5. Jack Dylan Glazer – It

Best Villain

1. Pennywise (Bill Skarsgard) – It
2. Dennis, etc. (James McAvoy) – Split
3. The Alien – Life
4. Poppy (Julianne Moore) – Kingsman: The Golden Circle
5. Martin (Barry Keoghan) – The Killing of a Sacred Deer

Worst Performance

1. Jonn Bass – Baywatch
2. Tyrese Gibson – The Fate of the Furious
3. Jared Leto – Blade Runner 2049
4. Ben Affleck – Justice League
5. Charlize Theron – The Fate of the Furious

Most LOL’s

1. The Lego Batman Movie
2. I, Tonya
3. Guardians of the Galaxy 2
4. Get Out
5. It

Scariest

1. It
2. Life
3. Ingrid Goes West*
4. Get Out
5. The Killing of a Sacred Deer

*Ingrid is obviously a comedy, but it’s message regarding social media is pretty damn scary.  It’s interesting that two of the funniest movies of the year are horrors and one of the scariest movies is a comedy.  Sacred deer is also very funny in a nervous way.

Most Feels

1. Okja
2. Call Me By Your Name
3. The Florida Project
4. Lady Bird
5. Stronger

Best Looking

1. Blade Runner 2049
2. The Florida Project
3. Atomic Blonde
4. War for the Planet of the Apes
5. Wind River

Best Action Sequence

1. The stairwell brawl in Atomic Blonde
2. The shootout in Wind River
3. The first car chase in Baby Driver
4. The nightclub in John Wick 2
5. The plane scenes in Dunkirk

Best Scene, non-action (I’ll be vague)

1. The reveal in Wind River
2. The fatherly advice in CMBYN
3. “Oh, Hi Mark” in Disaster Artist
4. The epilogue of Lady Bird
5. The sewer gutter in It

Best Use of Music

1. Atomic Blonde – ‘Til Tuesday’s Voices Carry
2. Lady Bird – Dave Matthews Band’s Crash Into Me
3. Call Me By Your Name – The Psychedelic Furs’s Love My Way
4. Thor: Ragnarok – Led Zeppelin’s Immigrant Song
5. Ingrid Goes West – K-Ci & JoJo’s All My Life

 

Ten Other Random Scenes That I Love In No Particular Order 

1. Batman’s solo routine in Lego Batman
2. The only light scene in War for the Apes
3. The alien wakes up in Life
4. Wyatt Russell’s poolside soliloquy in Ingrid Goes West
5. The morning announcements in Spiderman: Homecoming
6. Judd Apatow’s cameo in The Disaster Artist
7. Ray’s drug story in Good Time
8. Michael Fassbender flirting with himself in Alien: Covenant
9. The lightsaber chamber battle in The Last Jedi
10. Rock vs Efron swole-off in Baywatch

 

Revisited 2016 Top Ten

1. Hell or High Water
2. Green Room
3. Everybody Wants Some!!
4. La La Land
5. Moonlight
6. Manchester By The Sea
7. Patriot’s Day
8. American Honey
9. Popstar: Never Stop Never Stopping
10. Other People

2018’s Most Anticipated

1. Creed 2
2. Sicario 2: Soldado
3. The Predator
4. Black Panther
5. Hold The Dark
6. Mission Impossible 6
7. First Man
8. Isle of Dogs
9. The Irishman
10. Bohemian Rhapsody

2017 Report Card:

Rated Greg’s Top 5 Sports Biopics

1. The Fighter I, Tonya
2. Rush The Fighter
3. Cinderella Man Rush
4. Rudy Cinderella Man
5. Remember The Titans Rudy

Hey there.  It’s me again, the boy who cried greatest movie ever.   With 2018 rapidly   approaching, I was a little unsure about leaving Atomic Blonde as #1 in my year-end list. I hadn’t seen it mentioned in any other Top 10 lists nor have really even heard it talked about by anyone since the weekend of it’s July release.  Could I be wrong about it’s brilliance?  I don’t think so.  I just think Atomic Blonde is so specifically tailored to certain action junkie inclinations that it likely lacks something in mass appeal.  For instance, I couldn’t summarize the plot for you if I tried.  The movie so convoluted, however I could give a shit because the level of action is truly one of a kind.  Even though I was steadfast that Atomic Blonde was my favorite movie of the year, proclaiming it as the BEST movie of the year seemed a little ridiculous.

Well, this point is now moot because my brand new favorite movie of the year also happens to have at least a puncher’s chance at Best Picture.  I, Tonya is so fucking good!  I can’t believe a Tonya Harding biopic reminded me of Goodfellas in multiple facets, but  that’s where we are in 2017.  In terms of mass appeal it’s got everything.  Family drama, true crime, athletics, unforgettable performances, a loaded soundtrack, and last but not least, the film is genuinely hilarious.  I would only recommend Atomic Blonde to a select group of friends.  But I, Tonya, the other atomic blonde?  I’d recommend it to friends, family, coworkers, neighbors, dentists, Bumble matches, Uber drivers…..you name it.  Grade: A+

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KuDQOMICfr0

Rated Greg’s Top 5 James Franco Movies

1. Spring Breakers
2. This is the End
3. Rise of the Planet of the Apes
4. Pineapple Express
5. Palo Alto

It’s hard for a film to be great with a protagonist as unlikeable as Tommy Wiseau. On an asshole scale the director of The Room, widely regarded as the worst movie of all time, ranks somewhere between people that list “public figure” on their Instagram and people that enter an elevator before you can exit.  James Franco does an amazing job portraying Wiseau, so much so that you barely recognize it’s him, but the weirdo director that he plays is so damn hard to root for.  That was my main takeaway from The Disaster Artist. It has some entertaining moments but nothing you need to rush to the theater for.  More of an On Demand rental.  It’s just not as good as the other James Franco/Seth Rogen collabs like Pineapple Express and This is the End. Grade: B-

Rated Greg’s Top 5 Summer Love Movies

1. Adventureland
2. Call Me By Your Name
3. American Pie 2
4. Y Tu Mama Tambien
5. Summer Catch

Call Me By Your Name is a summer crush story set in the Italian countryside of 1983 and is based on a highly regarded book of the same name.  It’s a beautiful looking film with wonderful performances from stars Timothee Chalamet (Lady Bird) and Armie Hammer, but I was at first a little confused/surprised that it’s been pretty much universally championed without much push back against age differences of the leads (Chalamet is playing a 17 year old and I knew Hammer is in his early 30’s in real life).  However researching after the fact, I realized Hammer was supposed to be playing a 24 year old, a detail I must have missed in the bathroom.  Anyways, while that’s still a little dicey, failing the “half your age plus 7” rule, it’s not quite Roy Moore territory I guess.  Plus, again it’s based on a book.  Books get weird sometimes.

Back to the actual film. Scenery-wise you’d be hard pressed to find better a looking setting (think Master of None season 2) and the acting is definitely deserving of the Oscar buzz it’s getting.  I do think CMBYN meanders too much in the latter half (it’s 132 minutes) but there are two EXCEPTIONAL scenes well worth the price of admission.  One is an Armie Hammer dancing scene that lit the internet a fire and became a meme well before the wide release of the movie.  I won’t spoil the other, only to say that is extremely affecting and will lead you to reminisce about the your own first love.  Grade: A-

This Free Willy meets Beauty and the Beast awards baiting snooze fest is the single worst movie I have ever seen in a theater. IN MY LIFE. No bullshit.  What kind of sorcery is Guillermo Del Toro pulling off here to make The Shape of Water a serious contender for BEST PICTURE?! I haven’t been this confused since The Artist became an Oscar juggernaut in 2012.  Grade: F

Rated Greg’s Top 5 Woody Harrelson Performances

1. Zombieland
2. True Detective
3. Kingpin Three Billboards
4. White Men Can’t Jump Kingpin
5. The Edge of Seventeen White Men Can’t Jump

Similar to Logan Lucky this past summer, Three Billboards Outside Ebbing, Missouri is another sendup to Coen Brothers crime films that probably would have been much better off in the actual hands of the Coens.  It’s worth seeing for the fantastic, vibrant performances all around, especially an all-timer from grizzled vet Woody Harrelson, but beware that there are flaws in the story ranging from minor to significant that were way too hard to ignore by the end.  There are some movies that leave you feeling underwhelmed given its grand potential and yet you’re not quite sure what you would change to make it better (i.e. Blade Runner 2049).  This isn’t one of those movies.  There are so many blatant, easily avoidable unforced errors in Three Billboards.  I would equate it to my friend Willy who’s generally a great guy but will also lie to your face about what he ordered at Burger King.  Grade: B-