The best movie I’ve seen this year that you couldn’t pay me to see again.  While claustrophobic and about 20 minutes too long, Room is very well acted and worthy of the Oscar buzz.  It features one of the most tense, edge of your seat scenes of the year.  Sure, everyone says 9 year old co-star Jacob Tremblay is so darn adorable now, but if Hollywood has taught us anything he’ll be an entitled little asshole in 10 years.  Tier 4

Paranormal Activity: The Ghost Dimension

paranormal_activity_the_ghost_dimension-wide (1)

I didn’t sleep right for a month after watching the first Paranormal Activity.  My four roommates at the time wanted NOTHING to do with the movie, so I ended up watching it alone, which I don’t recommend.  45 minutes into it I had to turn on the lights and watch 20 minutes of “I Love You Man” just so I could settle down before finishing it.  Since then I’ve been loyal to the franchise, but each of the 5 sequels have been pretty formulaic and not scary (except for maybe the third one, there’s few things creepier than little kids with imaginary friends).   Needless to say, if you’ve kept up with these movies, you may as well see this supposedly final installment, but you can skip it if not.  Tier 6

99 Homes

andrew garfield 99 homes

I was gonna mention that Michael Shannon only does good movies until I looked at his imdb (Hellllooooo Premium Rush).  Regardless, this one is decent.  99 Homes is a good companion piece to “The Big Short,” telling the story of a different type of people that profited off of the 2008 housing crisis, though it’s certainly not a comedy.  I completely forgot Spiderman Remix has acting chops.  This may have rated higher but I have a big problem with the climax.  Tier 5

The Revenant

the revenant

Sometimes a movie is just too hyped up in my head beforehand that it comes up short.  Very impressively made and has beautiful scenery, but its pretty grueling and definitely could have used an intermission ala Hateful Eight.  It’s common knowledge that there’s a bear attack in this movie and I returned from the bathroom in the middle of it (does someone want to fill me in on how Leo and the bear got off on the wrong foot?).  Still, its the best movie I’ve seen this year as of March.  Tom Hardy steals every scene he’s in even though you can only understand 25% of what he says.  Tier 1 – RATED GREG

The End of the Tour

end of the tour

The premise of this movie may sound dull (Jesse Eisenberg interviewing Jason Segal as David Foster Wallace over the course of a few days) however I found it to be pretty insightful.  It’s hard to tell if Jesse Eisenberg just always chooses to portray prickish characters, or if he automatically emits that vibe.  Perhaps both.  Tier 5

Hail, Caesar!


This is one of the more peculiar movies of the Coen Brothers lore.  I think its best to not think of it as a whole film but rather just a bunch of different bits.  Some of them hit for me, most didn’t, but I have a feeling I’ll have a greater appreciation after a second viewing down the road.  If you’re ambivalent about the Coen Brothers, you will probably hate this movie.  Tier 5

13 Hours: The Secret Soldiers of Benghazi

13 hours

I’m a sucker for non-Transformer Michael Bay movies.  He understandably catches a lot of flak for the robot-alien franchise but his other stuff is just right up my alley (his Coen Brother imitation “Pain and Gain” is brilliant).  Contrary to popular belief, the politics of this movie are pretty straight down the middle, there’s no mention of HRC, instead just details the heroic efforts of a US security team.  If you liked “Lone Survivor,” you’ll like this.  Tier 2 – Runner Up



Won the 2016 Academy Award for best documentary.  Follows the “Behind the Music” narrative of the rise and fall of a pop star.  Like the HBO Cobain documentary, it includes some pretty cool home video footage but also some squeamish material about the burdens of fame. Streaming on Amazon Prime.  Tier 3